Since a few weeks, every morning me and the people I live with start the day with 30 minutes of Silent Sitting in a newly renovated room of our house that opens to a small balcony. It is my favourite way to start the day!
There is a pin drop silence present, attest to the morning tranquillity and the love for this space of meditation. But just outside the open balcony door, there is a buzzing. It is a strong, even sound that had me puzzled the first few mornings. It did not per se interfere with the meditation and I could shift my attention away from it, so it would not preoccupy me, but initially it had some strange effect on me. Because I could not place its origin, or because it was a steady, yet alive buzz, it resulted in me having a fluctuating reaction to it between curiosity, aliveness and fear.
Curiosity because my mind couldn’t place its source. Aliveness because it was clearly not a mechanical sound, but a sort of pulsating, vibrant one, and fear because it, next to the curiosity of the unknown, also entailed something threatening in not me able to place it given its substantial volume.
By the end of the meditations in the first mornings I would forget about all of this contemplation and leave the room without investigating the source of the sound, only to begin the next morning with the same query. Eventually I did follow my curiosity and found a booming beehive under the roof of the terrace. The buzzing is still there (as I consider bees holy these days), so the sound is now an integral part of our morning sitting, only now the mind can rest in the knowing of its root.
Long story short, I feel such a buzz in the air these days. An energetical, undefinable, unplaceable buzz. It brings with it a similar mixture of feelings – curiosity, excitement, or fear, vitality. A sense of promise, or is it foreboding?
It is the buzz of the unknown, entwined with the new, mixed in with summer vibes and potential. Both uplifting and disheartening potential. All is possible, but nothing is certain. A bit like the beginning of a new summer romance, with all its insecurities and hopes tied into just the first moments of butterflies in the belly. Thrilling and nauseating all at once.
Now, can we bare so much premonition without needing to understand its source or wanting to control its outcome? Can we allow life to unfold and reveal itself and simply be present to the buzzing? The unknown, alive, exciting buzzing of the present moment, merging seamlessly into the future to be. Can we allow summer to kiss our skin and open us up to warm evening breezes and sandy feet, without knowing what tomorrow may bring?
Can we surrender ourselves to the abundant and free buzz of a now that does not linger on the potentials of tomorrow?
It is an ever-changing time, there is no doubt about it. Can we be still and attentive to listen silently to the buzzing “out there” without being distracted or swept away by its uncertain nature?
I hope we can. Because right here, right now, between all that noise, there is a pin drop silence, ready to be discovered by you.
Co-Founder of DIMA, Centre for conscious Living
Holistic Counselling at Kanikafrings.com