To be open is a wonderful state to meet life in. It is a state of “despite-ness”.
It would be easy to say that being open means having no expectations, no preconceptions, no protection. And in a way that is true, that is what being open means on the level of attitude toward life and it´s circumstances. But to be totally truthful, it is a rare thing to be free of all those layers of conditions and conditionings, even on a good day. So it feels more precise to say being open despite all of those places we hold back in and have ideas about.
Being open needs a portion of trust and thus for many feels like taking a risk, to some degree. Going into a situation open, means putting down the usual shield of vigilance and guardedness, what ever that may look like for your ego-structure’s specific defense mechanism.
It could mean not expecting the worst of the person or situation, thus possibly preventing self-fulfilling prophecies through projecting fears onto the outer. It could mean letting go of assumptions or grudges that can stop connection from flowing or healing to happen. It could mean embracing fear and thereby accepting the possibility of being hurt, in exchange for the possibility of being loved.
Being open simply means saying yes to what ever will come, putting aside preference in order to be with what there is in reality.
The interesting thing is that we believe being open to be a risky business, potentially causing pain and suffering. But when you look at it through the lens of trials and errors and the experience thereof, is it not true that openness is usually rewarded by life?
That is not to say that it can not be painful. Opening to love might indeed end in heartache. Opening to vulnerability might indeed feel delicate and shaky. Opening to forgiveness might bring up the pain of betrayal, and so on, but in the bigger picture, opening is saying yes to being alive. Yes to being human, in all its forms, with all its facets.
Would you not rather experience love and loss, then not having loved at all? Is not letting go of held hurts better then the tension and bitterness of staying attached to past aches?
Yes, everything in its own time. Yes, to respecting boundaries and timing. Yes, to being sensitive and mindful with oneself and others. Yes, to allowing for times of closed-ness.
But also yes, to allowing life, ever-changing, unpredictable and precious life, to move through us. Which it will, whether we are open to it or not, but being open, simply makes it easier for life to unfold us, making us available to be touched by its heights and its depth, making our potential accessible to us.
And yes, that also means to take risks and to meet the uncomfortable and painful aspects of life. Unfortunately we can’t be entirely selective in being open, and life does not deal in if´s and but´s, BUT, i am completely positive that it is worth it. Of course in the end of the day, you have to decide that for yourself.
Though it seems to make sense that being alive is being fragile and not knowing. It is not in the nature of living things to have certainty and be invincible.
Nature is yielding to itself permanently. Come rain, come sun. Aren’t we an integral part of that nature? What sense is there in saying no to the storms that might disperse the rain clouds and clear the air? What do we know about the greater purpose and natural balance of all things?
Hence some trust is needed. Trust in staying open to what life has in store for us, unconditionally of whether or not we will “like it”, and that that has in some form or shape a value for us. Whether or not it is obvious to us.
2020, may we be open to let it surprise us.
Holistic Counsellor/ kanikafrings.com
Co-Founder/ DIMA Mallorca – Centre for conscious Living/ dimamallorca.com